One Of Those Days...

Its going to be one of those days. Nothing in particular is setting me off, but nothing in particular is calming me down either. I am frustrated today. Frustrated that today is my mom's birthday. Frustrated that on my dads birthday less than 20 days ago I found out I was pregnant, and now 20 days later I am still waiting for that ill fated pregnancy to end.

Frustrated that the right side of my face is still swollen and puffy. Frustrated that after having a great pain day yesterday, and even being able to eat that at 10:30 last night my pain was at an all time high. Frustrated that the only things that helped me were Aleve, Oxycodone, and a gel ice pack from my Follistim delivery. Notice, I didn't put my husband on that list. No, his "helpfulness" was to berate me for not staying on hold with the endodontist any of the three times I called yesterday. I'm sorry but when a patient calls and asks to schedule an appointment at my clinic I don't put them on hold once much less twice every time they call. I also pointed out that they won't touch this tooth until the infection is completely cleared up, so my lack of patience has nothing to do with the amount of pain I am in this very moment. Really what did he think was going to happen? The tooth fairy would wave her magic wand and BOOM instant root canal?

I am also frustrated with the lack of information regarding methotrexate. Other than it often fails. I asked my miscarriage support group if anyone had any first hand information...IE how would I know if this failed? Someone offered up: If the embryo and sac reabsorbed I may never bleed from a miscarriage stand point. That I may simply ovulate, and then 12-14 days later I would have a cycle. This is unacceptable to me. I have PCOS, I don't ovulate on my own more than 2x's a year, and when I do its often late in a cycle. This is unacceptable to me.

I can't be frustrated with the doctors office. They did exactly what I asked them to do. "Do something to get this started" and they did. They even warned me that there is a failure rate with this shot, and that it often takes 2 shots to get anything going. Yet they were hopeful since my levels were so low that it wouldn't happen to me. HELLO, you are dealing with ME...I am obviously NOT the average woman here. If it can go wrong it more often than not does.

We are going to the baseball game tonight. I am, or was looking forward to it. Jake's company gives tickets to each of the gang and Jake is lucky enough to go twice. The nacho's they have on the "VIP" level are worth the trip. Yet all I want to do is go home, pop my antibiotic, pop a pain pill and go to bed.

Yes...its going to be one of those days...